Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters

I'm Kristin. I'm 23. I'm neurotic, awesome, insecure, ballsy, opinionated and loving. I have the most amazing life.

Love (in no particular order): Josh (aka sagansapien), my fur children, veggies (especially asparagus), pumpkins, sunflowers, when books are perfectly broken in, documentaries, sociology, feminism, carl sagan, weeds, chickens, my amazing, world-changing beautiful friends, futurama, human rights of all varieties, red wine, old trees and hammocks

Dislike: intolerance, injustice, hatred and condiments, particularly mayo
Posts tagged "rape"

Yes, yes, so much yes! This division is so reflective of the patriarchy’s constant attempt to turn women against each other in an effort to weaken the unified effort for gender equality. Amazing how it is so apparent even within the feminist movement. -anotherdeadhead

This is a call to end the SlutWars.

On the off-chance the global SlutWalk movement hasn’t hit your radar, here’s a brief primer: SlutWalk is worldwide grassroots movement challenging rape culture, victim-blaming, and working to end sexual violence. It started in January 2011, when a

(via aloofshahbanou)

theabusivescrewnicorn:

Rape victims…..are NOT sluts.

No one asked for it.

(via rapeisnotajoke)

Our culture spends a lot of time reinforcing the message that women are always vulnerable to sexual assault and should be on constant guard to prevent themselves from becoming the victim of sexual violence. Many of these safety tips are certainly good safety tips to practice for everyone (not just women), but we should really be teaching men not to rape, rather than expecting women to take extreme precautions to not be raped. This mentality leads survivors of sexual assault to ask questions like, “What could I have done to prevent this?” or “What did I do to cause this to happen to me?” and fuels the victim blaming mentality that often accompanies sexual violence. So here are some better tips that I found that will help you to prevent sexual assault in your community: 

1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident”you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

Seriously. I love the show and I understand how this was relevant to the story line, but it isn’t ever okay to normalize rape. Just one more example of how the media mainstreams and perpetuates rape culture. 

Seriously. I love the show and I understand how this was relevant to the story line, but it isn’t ever okay to normalize rape. Just one more example of how the media mainstreams and perpetuates rape culture. 

Let me tell you some things.

I used to investigate child abuse and neglect. I can tell you how to stop the vast majority of abortion in the world.

First, make knowledge and access to contraception widely available. Start teaching kids before they hit puberty. Teach them about domestic violence and coercion, and teach them not to coerce and rape. Create a strong, loving community where women and girls feel safe and supported in times of need. Because guess what? They aren’t. You know what happens to babies born under such circumstances? They get hurt, unnecessarily. They get sick, unnecessarily. They get removed from parents who love them but who are unprepared for the burden of a child. Resources? Honey, we try. There aren’t enough resources anywhere. There are waiting lists, and promises, and maybes. If the government itself can’t hook people up, what makes you think an impoverished single mom can handle it?

Abolish poverty. Do you have any idea how much childcare costs? Daycare can cost as much or more than monthly rent. They may be inadequately staffed. Getting a private nanny is a nice idea, but they don’t come cheap either. Relatives? Do they own a car? Does the bus run at the right times? Do they have jobs of their own they need to work just to keep the lights on? Are they going to stick around until you get off you convenience store shift at 4 AM? Do they have criminal histories that will make them unsuitable as caregivers when CPS pokes around? You gonna pay for that? Who’s going to pay for that?

End rape. I know your type errs on the side of blaming the woman, but I’ve seen little girls who’ve barely gotten their periods pregnant because somebody thought raping preteens was an awesome idea. You want to put a child through that? Or someone with a mental or physical inability for whom pregnancy would be frightening, painful or even life-threatening? I’ve seen nonverbal kids who had their feet sliced up by caregivers for no fucking reason at all, you think sexual abuse doesn’t happen either?

You say there’s lots of couples who want to adopt. Kiddo, what they want to adopt are healthy white babies, preferably untainted by the wombs and genetics of women with alcohol or drug dependencies. I’ve seen the kids they don’t want, who almost no one wants. You people focus only on the happy pink babies, the gigglers, the ones who grow and grow with no trouble. Those are not the kids who linger in foster care. Those are certainly not the older kids and teenagers who age out of foster care and then are thrown out in the streets, usually with an array of medical and mental health issues. Are they too old to count?

And yeah, I’ve seen the babies, little hand-sized things barely clinging to life. There’s no glory, no wonder there. There is no wonder in a pregnant woman with five dollars to her name, so deep in depression you wonder if she’ll be alive in a week. Therapy costs money. Medicine costs money. Food, clothes, electricity cost money. Government assistance is a pittance; poverty drives women and girls into situations where they are forced to rely on people who abuse them to survive. (I’ve been up in more hospitals than I can count.)

In each and every dark pit of desperation, I have never seen a pro-lifer. I ain’t never seen them babysitting, scrubbing floors, bringing over goods, handing mom $50 bucks a month or driving her to the pediatrician. I ain’t never seen them sitting up for hours with an autistic child who screams and rages so his mother can get some sleep while she rests up from working 14-hour days. I don’t see them fixing leaks in rundown houses or playing with a kid while the police prepare to interview her about her sexual abuse. They’re not paying for the funerals of babies and children who died after birth, when they truly do become independent organisms. And the crazy thing is they think they’ve already done their job, because the child was born!

Aphids give birth, girl. It’s no miracle. You want to speak for the weak? Get off your high horse and get your hands dirty helping the poor, the isolated, the ill and mentally ill women and mothers and their children who already breathe the dirty air. You are doing nothing, absolutely nothing, for children. You don’t have a flea’s comprehension of injustice. You are not doing shit for life until you get in there and fight that darkness. Until you understand that abortion is salvation in a world like ours. Does that sound too hard? Do you really think suffering post-birth is more permissible, less worthy of outrage?

“Pro-life” is simply a philosophy in which the only life worth saving is the one that can be saved by punishing a woman.

STFU, Conservatives: When I say I’m pro-life… (via andyouhavetogivethemhope)

THIS needs to be required reading for everyone. 

So worth reblogging.

(via kungfucarrie)

It isn’t just strangers who rape. And anyone can be a victim.

(via bibliofeminista)

This blog is not only hilarious, but it touches on some very serious issues in our society, the above being one of them.

That’s how sex is presented to boys - it’s not intimacy; it’s not the loving, egalitarian [part] that we get something out of, it’s something we do to the other. We raise women to survive in a rape culture, because we raise women to know these things. We do nothing to talk to men about not raping. But we do talk to women about how to protect themselves, which is further why we place the blame on women when something happens. ‘Well didn’t you know not to do that? Didn’t you know not to wear that dress? Or didn’t you know not to walk down that street at that hour of the night?’

feminist Don McPherson, on rape culture and educating boys to not rape


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kungfucarrie:

moreapologies:

From pervocracy:

I could not have said this better in a lifetime. Every post about rape on an major blog is littered with comments from one or all of these people.

Mr. What About The Men
“The real problem here is all these false rape accusations that are destroying our society! 90 million men are falsely accused of rape every second! A woman just has to sort of mumble a word starting with ‘r’ and a man instantly gets a life sentence! There are no instances on record of a woman actually being raped!”

Ms. Tough Girl
“If women would learn martial arts—70-year-olds and women with disabilities can do this if they put their minds to it, darnit—and carry weapons everywhere, no one would ever get raped! All you have to do is be ready to threaten your own friends and lovers with lethal force at any moment, any anyone who can’t do that must be weak or something.”

Mr. Model Victims Only Please
“The victim was no angel herself. If you look at her record, she’s been arrested several times, she’s a single mother, and she’s living on welfare. So it’s not like she was some innocent little virgin beforehand. None of this makes it right, but I’m just saying, let’s not overreact like a good woman got ruined.”

Ms. Fashion Police
“Did you hear what she was wearing? I’m sorry but that’s just not common sense. If you go out looking like a piece of meat, you have to expect you’ll get treated like a piece of meat.”

Mr. I’m Not Blaming Her But It’s Her Fault
“Rape is never the victim’s fault, of course. But I just want people to admit that she has some responsibility. That she maybe played a part in it. That in an alternate universe where she’d done things differently and she lived in a steel Battlemech wearing a chastity belt, she wouldn’t have gotten raped, and she did make the choice to not use a Battlemech. I just need people to acknowledge that.”

Ms. Couples Therapy
“I dunno, seems to me like they both made mistakes. Maybe he just wasn’t reading her signals, or maybe she wasn’t communicating clearly to him. A lot can get caught up in an emotional moment like that and I bet they both feel really bad right now.”

Mr. Offensive And/Or Baffling Metaphor
“Look, if you walk down a dark alley with a wallet stuffed full of money, sure it’s still a crime when you get mugged, but what if the mugger is just trying to feed his family because he was laid off by an evil solicitor and the ghost showed him a lone crutch leaning in the corner?”

Ms. CSI
“If you put the pieces together, her story just doesn’t wash. She claims that he ripped her pants off, but her pants have a button fly. Ha! And she waited a whole forty minutes after the supposed rape to call the police—who would do that?”

Mr. Troll
“lol bitch deserved it loooollll”

Ms. You Don’t Just Get To Decide Whether You Consent
“She was seen earlier in the night drinking with this guy, talking to him, and even making out with him! And then she went up to his apartment! What did she think would happen? No one ever goes to a guy’s apartment unless they’re consenting to every sex act he could possibly want.”

Mr. How Do I Not Rape Someone It Is So Difficult
“I just don’t understand how to tell if someone is ‘consenting’ or not. What if she secretly decides she doesn’t like it—am I a rapist then? What if she changes her mind midway through? Or afterwards? It’s impossible to know what women want, so how am I supposed to know if they want to have sex with me or not?”

Ms. Traditional Values
“You know, back when women dressed modestly and simply didn’t go out drinking with strangers or going home with people they’d just met, this sort of thing didn’t happen.”

Mr. This Wouldn’t Happen If Women Would Just Fuck Me Already
“This sort of thing is inevitable when women constantly act as gatekeepers and doom beta males to a life of frustration and loneliness. Of course rape is horrible, but the pent-up rage felt by men cast aside just because they weren’t billionaire underwear models has to express itself somehow.”

Ms. Avoid The R-Word
“Wow, that is just not cool. Having sex under those circumstances—I mean, treating a girl like that—you know, being inappropriate with her—is a totally insensitive and downright mean thing to do.”

 Sad, but true. Although the spelling & grammar is often a bit worse….

Unfortunately this is very true. Let’s stop making excuses people and start dismantling our rape culture.

Since we all came from a woman, got our name from a woman, & our game from a woman. I wonder why we take from women, why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think it’s time we killed for our women, be real to our women, try to heal our women, ‘cause if we don’t we’ll have a race of babies that will hate the ladies, who make the babies. And since a man can’t make one he has no right to tell a woman when & where to create one.

Rah, rah, sis boom bah: Silsbee High School in Texas wants their cheerleaders smiling, energetic, and willing to cheer for their rapists by name. Go team!

H.S., a Silsbee student, reported being raped in 2008 by Rakheem Bolton, a fellow student and athletic star, with the help of two of his friends. In the end, Bolton recently ended up getting off without serving any jail time by pleading guilty to a lesser assault charge, spending two years on probation, doing community service, paying a fine, and attending anger management courses. Hardly seems like an adequate punishment, but it’s unfortunately not uncommon for attackers to bargain down their charges. What really gets the blood boiling is how the students’ high school treated the victim when the rape charge was levied.

Bolton was set to be on the school’s varsity basketball team, and they couldn’t risk losing by barring him from playing for a silly thing like a rape charge. That could impact their chances at winning. Who cares about the traumatic impact it would have an a cheerleader who needed to vocally support a team including her rapist?

But H.S. fulfilled her role as a cheerleader, participating in all the cheers for the team as a group. She simply refused to shout the first name of the man who assaulted her when he stood up alone to make free throws. It seems like she was being more than accommodating, when an student athlete facing trial on rape charges most likely should have been suspended from the team, even if his presence wasn’t a source of immediate distress to his victim in her position as cheerleader. In a display of extreme disrespect for a rape survivor and disregard for her well-being, school officials insisted that H.S. had to scream “Rakheem” with the rest of the cheerleaders, or she’d be kicked off the squad.

Not only that, Caroline Heldman reports on Ms. Magazine’s blog that school officials pushed H.S. “to keep a low profile, such as avoiding the school cafeteria and not taking part in homecoming activities.” As though she should somehow be ashamed for having been raped and brought charges against her attacker. Where exactly was she supposed to eat so as to not cause discomfort to the star athlete? H.S. also refused to take this offensive “advice.”

H.S. sued her school district for removing her from the cheerleading squad. In an absurd court ruling, the 5th U.S. Circuit of Appeals decided to uphold the school’s decision, claiming that a cheerleader was but a “mouthpiece” for a school to use to “disseminate speech — namely, support for its athletic teams.” Her silence apparently “constituted substantial interference with the work of the school because, as a cheerleader, H.S. was at the basketball game for the purpose of cheering, a position she undertook voluntarily.” Well, I’m sure H.S. never expected to be “volunteering” to cheer for someone who had assaulted her. And the idea that just being silent during Bolton’s free throws, a barely noticeable act, was “substantial interference with the work of the school” — um, we’re talking extracurricular sports, not classroom disruption — makes little sense.

Tell Silsbee officials that this is no way to treat rape victims, and insist that they publicly issue an apology to H.S. immediately. Furthermore, tell them to instate a policy outlining appropriate treatment of sexual assault survivors, which does not put the onus on the victim to ensure smooth interactions at the school.

Seriously? What the in the hell is this school thinking???

I performed this piece for my Literature in Performance course over the summer. Love it.